cried

This morning, Reece cried. He clung to me in the classroom and didn't want to go. I had to peel him off.

The fullness of this kinder hasn't hit me yet, but mornings like today don't help.
I miss him. A lot. I hate that our mornings are rushed and me barking orders. He's a slow mover in the mornings, and that's just not our life anymore...not Monday - Friday anyway.

I hate that, but I also know that this transition is the biggest wake-up call that I am no longer just taking care of children, I am raising men. I know I've said that before, but I'm constantly reminded and need to in order to transition to this next phase myself. It is hard.

And yet, God is revealing himself over and over again. With the teacher, with Reece's behavior, with prayers being so specifically answered. Oh how He loves us so.

I prayed for Reece (who was a little grumpy) this morning on the way to school, but had no idea it was going to go like that. It was our hardest morning yet.

I've been snuggling with him more at night, spending more time in his room, just to have that extra time with him. It is hard b/c I am so tired and ready for my wind down from the day, but the past couple of nights have been nice (when Zach is semi-cooperating). He shares more about his day or the important thoughts that have lingered enough to still be on his mind. This time seems important. Glad I have a heart to be with him more than one to have my break.

But, it was sad this morning. Coming off of the blessings of yesterday, you almost wonder why. And this morning I sang and danced with the boys. Thought I'd filled them up good. Maybe I was a little too awesome. ; )

Relinquish control. That's another lesson in this for me. Not to let go of my job of raising this child and turn it over to someone else...NO. But, to relinquish control over knowing every little detail. I had to do that today. I wanted to know he was ok and he wasn't struggling after a rough start.

Rather, I prayed for him as my heart yearned for him throughout the day.

When I picked him up, Ms. Johnson told me he had a good day, but was just a little homesick this morning.

Oh how I love this little boy, who is becoming bigger every day.
Praying for more smoothness in the starts and ends to our day, wisdom on how to make it so, and obedience to follow through.

so good

I owe some other posts before this, but had to remember today.
The mornings are good up until that last 10 minutes of scurry.
The evenings are even more so, especially with a longer day and homework added.

But, the in betweens have been so unexpectedly sweet.
We've been praying for people on the way to school.
Today we prayed for Ms. Johnson... for encouragement and strength and for her to feel God's love. And, for Reece to be an encouragement to her today through his actions.

At pick up, she looked at me, put one hand over the other, then into her chest and mouthed, "thank you, thank you so much". She took Reece's badge, reached down, and hugged him and whispered something into his ear.

He tells me later she said, "You are such a good boy. Such a good boy."
I asked Reece if he told her that we prayed for her this morning, but he didn't.

I don't know any more details, but I know enough. I know each one of our prayers for her this morning were answered. And I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I was...I still am.

That God took that little prayer, after a prayer of forgiveness about the harried 10 minutes before that, and answered in such an obvious way. And allowed us to see it. He is so very good.

Meet the Teach

Been having so much anxiety and sadness about Reece starting Kindergarten in a few short days. Been mourning for months, actually.

Tonight was meet the teacher.
It went great.

It helped Reece so very much to meet that sweet teacher, and see his classroom and sit in the chairs, and walk the big halls, and run in the gym, and eat ice cream in the cafeteria. Just what we 3 needed.

We were so thankful to have Sophie come over and watch Zach while we spent the evening focused soley on this big milestone coming up, and our precious boy, who seems to be growing up from under our noses.

We caravanned and then walked up to the school with Lisa and Olivia, stopping for a photo op. (I didn't bring my big camera. Didn't want to be distracted by it, or for Reece to see his mom behind a big lens tonight. Impt to be right in the moment. So, these are taken just with my phone.)As we walked up to the school doors, the class assignments were posted on the doors. We searched to find Reece's class and teacher. First, we found Olivia's class, which meant they weren't going to be together. Boo.

When I saw the name, I thought I knew, but during orientation, it was confirmed...Ms. Johnson.

I met her on orientation night in April, and loved her warmth and gentle spirit. I remember thinking to myself that night, "I hope Reece has a teacher like her."
I began praying for his teacher ever since, and tonight God provided.

I kinda feel like that gal that got her cake and ate it too. Here's why...
I remembered this day when during my quiet time, I wrote about this very woman who is now his teacher:

Went to Reece's school (to be, that is), and dropped off the registration forms.
Everything was well and good.
I avoided saying something to the one human person that I knew could change our fate, teacher-wise.
I considered writing a letter to her, requesting/pleading for this or that in a teacher. But, ultimately, I decided to leave it in the hands of the One that is the king of the universe and that knows my boy best.

If I'd been able to choose, I was thinking I wanted someone perhaps more sweet and gentle than myself. Someone loving but also cares very much about respect and behavior as I do.
But, someone more gentle. (I know I said that.)

Now that I'm thinking about that again, I think it's funny.
Rather, God revealed to me that, while I can't control which teacher Reece gets, I CAN control what kind of woman/mother/friend/Christ follower I am.
Perhaps instead, He prompted, I should be more concerned about God changing me and making me more gentle. And, that's exactly what he's doing.
It's still gentle in a Sundee way, but I'm becoming more of that woman I hope to be one day. God is doing it. I am only praying for change and trying to be obedient.

So, not only is he teaching me to be more gentle, He also gave us the gentle teacher.
Both. Not because I deserved it, but because He is good. So.very.good.

There was not a lot of time to chat with her tonight, but I got a chance a little at the end.

I told her that when I met/saw her at orientation, I yearned for Reece to have a teacher like her. Those words were like honey to her as she grabbed her chest as if to capture them right in her heart and not let them go. I also told her that I'd been praying about it so much since then. And shared how so thankful we were to have her and to get to know her more. Again, she seemed so grateful and then said, "Isn't it great how God works in wonderful mysterious ways." Something like that. Oh how I love her already. : )

When Reece sat down in a chair in his classroom, D teared up. I loved it. It finally became real to him. I think I might have had a moment myself, but D's moment struck me so sweet. So sweet....bitter sweet to see our boy all big stuff in his chair.

It was a moment. Loved it.It wasn't long after she was talking that I looked at Reece and saw this...He was pulling his eyelids down with his hands. He was bored. Oh he wanted the ice cream they promised, but to me, I could picture quite a few moments at school just like this. So funny.

After we headed to get our school supplies, I nabbed a quick pic in front of his room. We'll both be seeing it quite a bit...Oh I love this one, Reece. You asked me to hold you, perhaps a bit overwhelmed by it all. I'll always be here, sweet boy.

Next was ice cream in the cafeteria. We met quite a few kids and parents and again, got pretty excited for Monday. It's going to be a good year...new and different and still a bit sad for mommy, but good.Just before we left, I got a picture of Ms. Johnson and her new favorite student. wink, wink.Thank you, Lisa, for this shot.

So very thankful for tonight, for Ms. Johnson, and for God's great provision for our sweet boy. We are going to have a great year. I truly believe that.

Now that doesn't mean there will not be many tears shed over the next few days, weeks, months. But, God's reminded me that He's in charge, that He listens and answers our prayers, and that this little boy was His first, even more mine.
Thank you, Lord, for this day.

Zach's 2nd

Happy Birthday, our little 2 year old!Showing daddy, 2 (as best he can)!Reece so very excited!Set up complete with Pooh shirt and cake.Zach pointing at Elmo.
Oh I miss it when he used to call him 'La'.Found his new trike and we were off for a ride...
Or a race...after all we've got boys!Love this expression.Eating magnolia pods.Reece chasing him...stinker!
On the move, and adorable!But this, oh this one...what a doll, a precious gift to our family, a joy.
And then this one on the swing...LOVE!Out of focus, but too wonderful not to include.
Zach often calls him daddio. : )Loves to draw....aka scribble or chicken scratch.Opening present from Tootie. Much more interested in the tissue paper, but Reece knows where the good stuff is.Love this turtle and want one in my room!The stars are sooo cool.

Then, off to Rosemeade Aquatic Center to play!
Zach was more timid than I expected.
He didn't do the slides by himself and was a little afraid
of the giant buckets of water. But, after he warmed up,
we all had a great time!Confiscated someone's barbie, and was washing her hair. : )Caught him quickly and that poopy diaper wasn't too bad. We had a fun time on the changing table with a mirror and my phone.Great group shot.
When people say friends and family, I always think of them as 1 thing, not 2.
Some of ours. ♥These adorable ones speak for themselves.That's the sign of a good time.
And a good day.

But, as evening comes, there is more fun to have...a Hunny Pot full. : )

2

It's 12:20am and the cake is made, lunches are ready for tomorrow, presents wrapped and put together, #2 t-shirt ready to go, and kitchen is even cleaned. My tummy aches from sampling the icing one too many times. Oh how I wish I was a better hostess, or domestic engineer, but I wouldn't trade this for anything.

I might have liked more time to reminisce tonight, but rather enjoyed the distraction of making a cake. I think I'm getting better, thanks to Tara's icing hotline. ; )

I love to make your cake, Zach, and can't wait until you see it tomorrow and exclaim, "Winnie A Poo"!

You are absolutely precious, precious, precious to us.
I won't remember everything in this weary hour, but will try to come back to fill in the greatness that is you.

I loved singing 'Bubbly' to you tonight before you headed to bed. You brighten up when you hear it, and I've got to think you know that this is your special song.

You are a talker. People often comment on how much you say. About 2 months ago you told me, "I scared.", and you really were. I was amazed that you understood that concept. You've said it many times since, but I remember being surprised at how much you understood. It's just that age when we start to realize you've been hearing us all along.

Today while reading books in bed, you said, "I want go get up and get that car." That's a long sentence. You annunciate well, but I love how you say, "Wook at dis, Mommy". You're always wanting me to watch you..."Watch dis, Mommy".

You do everything your brother does and you want everything he has. The love verses about not delighting in evil is one we talk about with your brother because he sometimes encourages you to do things you shouldn't and thinks it's funny. He's a great sharer though, and you two work it out pretty well.

You always roar when you see a dinosaur. You now say, "Dinosaur Train" when you see a dinosaur. And you love Don's song, "La, la looooooo!" We haven't watched it a ton, but you seem to like it.

When Tootie had her surgery this summer, we moved you into Reece's room. I love the idea of you boys together. It warms my heart so much, as it always makes me think about how much we yearned for Reece to have a sibling. God is so good, Zach, and you were a complete gift from Him. Complete gift.

It took us a while to figure out how to work through the nighttime routines, but I think we got it, and I think you all are staying together. You both are sleeping well, and I love hearing your voices and playing first thing in the morning.

So thankful, so thankful for both of you.

You are happy, and almost always wake up with a smile. And what a glorious smile it is...always has been. You are happy, snuggly, and a joy.

We've already started to feel those 2's...you've got quite a set of lungs and are a pretty good fit thrower when you don't get something you want. Big opinions on what you want. You scream, throw things, hit and sometimes bite when you're not getting what you want.

But, that comes with 2. And even more times than fits do you do something that Dad and I look at each other with a "Did you see that? I think that was the cutest thing in the entire world!" Oh you are funny and clever and fun.

You are one busy, busy dude. The church childcare ladies usually remind me. : )
But, I sure don't need any reminding. You love toothbrushes of all things and nearly daily steal Reece's or mine. I catch you roaming the house chewing on it.

And you insist on brushing your own teeth. We let you every once in a while.

You're a great eater. Unlike Reece, you can handle a little bit of spice in your food...more like Daddy. Guacamole is a favorite. But if it was your choice all the time, you'd eat fruit or popcicles or ice cream or cupcakes. You LOOOOVE cupcakes.


When you're done eating, you play. You like to put your plate on your head, and man does that make a mess. You sometimes share with Lucy, and other times just toss overboard whatever you don't like.

We usually practice bible verses right before vitamins and I bet you always think vitamins involve God. The first verse you learned was Colossians 3:13b, which you say as "Forgive. Lord. Gave You." I honestly didn't expect you to be able to say it without prompting...but wow, you showed me. We're starting to learn more now and you're just a little sponge. Then again, anything for those vitamins. ; )

You like to sing and I find you singing a lot. In the car and just when you are playing. Sometimes it is the Seeds cds we listen to in the car...I love that. Either way, it is sweet music from your lips.

You like to pull the plastic lawnmower in the yard. Oh how that reminds me of when Daddy and Reece used to mow. I hope you can do that with him one day.

You like to draw, too. Chalk outside is always good. You've found a spot on the stoop where you write on the brick. Goof. Magnadoodles in the car, too. I love it all...maybe you'll be my little artist.

You've loved swimming, I mean 'fwimming' this summer. You're more adventurous than Reece was at this age in the water and getting your face wet. I predict you're fwimming without any help next year. We'll see.

You'd go down that slide a million times at the KC Pool if they didn't blow that whistle. Sometimes you get out of the pool and take off toward the slide without telling anyone. One time I barely got over in time to get you. So stinkin' cute.

You try so hard to do somersaults, but you end up stuck more like a yoga move. Pretty sure you don't care and say, "Wook, Mommy!"

My brain is slowly dying tonight. I know there is so very much more to say.

Know that you are an absolute joy to us, Zach.
We cannot believe 2 years have already gone by. We've loved every bit, but oh please slow down, Bubbly. Take you time. We're in no hurry to skip through these 2's.

While I'm pained by Reece starting Kindergarten on Monday, I know you and I will have some special time together, just us. I'm holding onto that sweet promise.

We love you like crazy, Zach.
You are a blessing and a joy. You melt my heart daily. Daily.
Happy, Happy Birthday, Zach.

And take your time, Bubbly, take your time.

KC

Grayson and Reece high-fiving Zach coming down the slide.I can't tell you how many times I've caught this smiling face at the end of this slide. Fearless, he is.

He scissors his feet back and forth as he comes down grinning from ear to ear. I predict he's going to be a good fwimmer. At least a happy one.I adore this picture.Thankful for the extra time with Mom this summer. Someone else seemed to enjoy it too.Actually, both boys loved having her stay with us, waking up to running to find her.Maybe not my best shot, but I'll take any shot with one of the sweetest boys in the entire universe. Crazy about that Reece.

Not the first time at the KC this summer, but thankful to capture the joy that the pool, time with our very special friends, and slippery slide always brings.